7 Stages of Beginning GOT

HELLO EVERYONE!

Yes, it is me. I'm back. I've missed you all dearly and I apologize for the absence. It's been a helluva... Uh... I don't know, whatever, adulting is hard. But I'm here. I made it.

Thank you to the fans.

Okay. So those of you who are lucky enough (just kidding...kind of) to be friends with me on Facebook know that I just started watching Game of Thrones (or "GOT," if you will). I know, I'm literally years behind. I'm certain some of you have re-considered our friendships over this, for that I understand, now. Whilst beginning this journey to winter (see what I did there? I feel so in the know and fetch), it's been.. Interesting. So. I decided to theme my return to this spot o' blogging with the 7 stages of beginning one's GOT journey.

Without further ado, let's get into it.

ALL ABOARD

STAGE ONE

Can't think of anything that interests me less.

I'ma keep it a hunnit with you guys... I literally did not understand why it was so popular. Like. I don't care about dragons or what happened a million years ago. I don't even know what I had for breakfast and it's 8:30am, let alone what happened that long ago in the land of jousting and swords n shit. All I know, all I knew to be true, was that every. single. Sunday. every social media feed was "GOT OMG I AM DEAD I LITERALLY DIED I CANNOT I LITERALLY CAN'T."

Naturally, I started feelin' some type of way.

STAGE TWO

...don't want to be...

I started feeling a weeeee bit left out. I want to be excited for Sundays. I want to metaphorically die weekly as a result of a fictitious story. I want to know this world in which everyone literally can't.

STAGE THREE

Let's do this. I can do this. I'm cool, I'm hip.

So, I decided I was going to make a decision. I made a decision. Decision made. I was going to watch it.

STAGE FOUR

Literally my single, solitary thought.

Okay, what in the actual shit am I watching. What is wrong with you people. I need to go to church, I need to read the Bible, I need to possibly do yoga if time permits. I legit had to turn it off and you know why.

Siblings, please don't do that. How... What does she do with the midget man's... OMG HE PUSHED HIM. Nope. I'm nope-ing right outta this shit. Y'all can can't by yo' damn selves. I'm out.

STAGE FIVE

Back in my safe space where the world doesn't make sense in a vanilla way.

By this time, weeks have passed. I've finally freed my mind of the disturb. I'm back to seeing which house Rob and Becky choose with their freelancing rock photography jobs that somehow gives them million dollar budgets.

But my curiosity is peaking again...

I'm being a little pretentious and it's gross.

Is it me? Am I the problem? Maybe I've been unfair to GOT. That's on me, and it's on me to fix it. So, here I go again. Giving it another shot, if it doesn't work, I can sleep at night knowing I tried.


STAGE SIX

DAMNIT

OKAY FINE. Fine. I'm woman enough to admit when I'm wrong. It's good. I get it, it's a good show. Still a little weird that the brother keeps groping the sister and she's fine with it. Still working on getting past that. But you know, baby steps. Rome wasn't built overnight.

...And finally.

STAGE SEVEN

Gonna need it.

The marathon is in full force. Shamelessly, hours in, without reprieve. You all were right. Game of Thrones is a dope show and I'm now one of the world of can't.

Also, how cute are amazon man and the blonde chick... After the, y'know, rocky start.

SWOON *cries gently*

Alright. So, that's my interpretation of the GOT beginning process. To those who've watched it, I am now one with you... And sorry for the whole you need Jesus thing. It was a weak moment. To those who haven't started it, just get past the weird first episode and you'll be okay.

With that, remember:

Until next time, Witte out.

GOP Needs to G-O-Peace Out

Hey guys!

Wowza, it's been a long while since I've been present on here! Sorry about that. I know all of your days felt empty, and somehow incomplete without my banter among myself. It's totally normal to talk to yourself. I read somewhere on the Internet that the smartest people talk to themselves. It was on the Internet. You can't put it on the Internet if it's not true... Which I also read on the Internet. Okay, okay. I digress. Let's move on to today's topic. While I can't for the life of me utter the letters in proper order without cringing, I must for the sake of conversation and intellectual contributions to the thinking world (which means those who contribute to this person's agenda will likely neither read nor understand the content of this blog).

Here I go...

Dona... Agh! I can't. I can't do it.

No, I can. Mind over matter.

Donald. Trump.

Yes. We're talking Trump. I know he's been the topic of one of my blogs before, but that was before. Before he became the Republican front runner. Before the Republican party, through his unbelievable skyrocket to front runner-ship, proved to the rest of America that racism, bigotry, xenophobia, ignorance, and hate are alive and well. Before a reality show TV "star" who exudes sheer lunacy and unforgiving pretentiousness took over an entire political party as a seemingly viable contender for our beloved Commander in Chief, Leader of the Free World... President of the United States of America. That was before. Now, we're in the now and this fool and his ridiculous supporters need some serious Witte roasting.

 Who is Donald Trump? Let's begin.

He's rich... So, yeah.

Donald Trump is quite the businessman. His companies have only gone bankrupt four (4) times... But that's okay because he'll use his impeccable business savvy to ensure the U.S.A. does not follow in that financially deplorable path. There's no way that his poor business habits will have a poor effect on the economy as a whole. We're good!

Makin' it rain... Bankruptcies up in dis biotch!

Donald Trump has a pet on his head. This is necessary to point out. The White House needs it's token cute animal(s).

How cute :)

Methinks Mr. Trump needs to reassess and step his game up because these are the current White House cute McFloof animals:

They're so fluffy I'm gonna die!

Donald Trump has, on numerous occasions, promised that he will build a wall between the U.S.A. and Mexico. I don't know about you guys, but if you take tacos, guacamole and Cabo away from me, there will be problems. And, to add to his lunacy, he has demanded that Mexico pay for the aforementioned wall; to which the former President of Mexico responded: "I'm not going to pay for that fucking wall." Look at Trump go! Strengthening international relations one bigoted insult at a time!

Not even out of the primaries and he's already making besties with other countries.

Speaking of besties with other countries, Donald Trump is so popular among our international allies that the British Parliament spent a whole session talking about him. Well, jeez. If that doesn't tickle your fancy, I don't know what does. What could they possibly spend all that time talking about? Hm... Let me dip into my thinking jar... Ah, here we go... BANNING HIM FROM THE BLOODY COUNTRY! After a petition accusing this fool of hate speech for banning any Muslim travel into the good ol' U.S.A melting pot got more than enough signatures by people who don't even live in our country, the Parliament got the message and got to Parliamenting. This dude... This dude who is the front runner of the Republican party was on the British chopping block for never being allowed in their country again because he spews so much hate that they don't want any part of it. But yes, tell me more about why he's the best fit to represent our lovely U.S.A. as a whole, and to maintain / improve international relations. I'll grab the wine...

Okay, I'm ready. Go ahead.

Donald Trump has been endorsed by the KKK. No, not the Krusty Krab Krew. No, no, not the Kewl Kids Kickballing either. No, the Klu Klux Klan. Heard of them? Yeah, they're the ones who hate anyone who isn't a Protestant white man. They inflict severe and sometimes deadly violence on anyone who is different from them. They have and continue to threaten what makes the U.S.A. great - which is inclusion, acceptance, teamwork, and progress. Ain't nobody got time, patience, or enough alcohol to deal with that crap.

Bye KKKaticia! I'll hang anyone with a sombrero or a turban any day, over you.

Nobody could actually support a man like this... Could they? NAY! They could and they do, and boy is it scary / entertaining.

*Enter scary move screeching music*

These people honestly believe that Trump is going to "Make American Great Again." I'm pretty sure suggesting the good ol' U.S.A. is anything but great in the first place is borderline treasonous. Just saying. But seriously... They see nothing wrong with him calling a fellow candidate a "p*ssy," or throwing a fit every time someone calls him out on his bullshit (which is quite often because he's overloading with it), or essentially annihilating international relations before he's even close to the Oval. Newflash, yo: the U.S.A. can't stand on its own. There are international treaties n' shit for a reason. There are allies for a reason. I literally can't even think about this anymore because the level of stupidity is creating a mental block... For a writer... Who never shuts up. Powerful.

I gotta go.

I could literally do this the entire day and still not cover even a microcosm of the reasons why this man has no place anywhere near 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue (that's the White House). The U.S.A. I'm proud of is welcoming of everyone who is willing to work hard and contribute to a greater good, while making life successful for themselves. The U.S.A. I'm proud of is excited to learn about other cultures and how others live, so that we may integrate it into our own and experience a whole new realm of what it means to be a melting pot. The U.S.A. I'm proud of does not accept racism, does not accept the oppression of those who are different than the Protestant white man, and does not tolerate the insecurity masked as bigotry worn by an uninformed, unwilling to learn, and unwilling to progress people.

I cannot urge this enough: Democrats, get out there and vote! Don't utilize the bystander theory that someone else will do it. NO! Not voting is voting for this scoundrel. Republicans who haven't already been brainwashed, don't vote for him because you don't like Democrats or your other candidates. Don't settle. Imagine the resounding consequences of voting for a man so incredibly hateful and unfit for our country's top honor, for reasons that can't stretch beyond your pride.

Voting for Donald Trump hurts America. Don't hurt America.

Sooo, yeah. There are my thoughts on this thug. Even thugs are cooler than him... They have cool style sometimes. I met a few while working in jail. They were cool. So, I can confirm that thugs are cooler than Trump; therefore, let me rephrase: There are my thoughts on this pathetic human and those who have gotten him to this point. I have faith in the U.S.A. I know and love, and I trust that he will get nowhere near the Oval; but still, vote. VOTE VOTE VOTE (for anyone except him)!!! I know you will.

Hellz yes you are.

Okay, that's all I got. Until next time, Witte out.

...Because You're Wrong & I Hate You

Happy Friday!

Before I get into it, I'd like to point out that today is officially (probably not, but to me) National Adele Day! I'm currently blasting her new album, "25", on our soundbar. At 7:30am. I accept the flaming bag of shit on my porch when I get home. Totally worth it!

*tear* Brb guys...

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I love it.

Okay, so, all of you who have Facebook/Twitter/A phone with internet access know that the social media experts are out and packin' it heavy right now regarding Syrian refugees. In the wake of last Friday's Paris attacks, the arguments have been plentiful and - while not funny in what it's about - hilarious to watch. This leads me to my topic today... The different types of social media debaters we all come across.

Let that beat drop!

1) The Adam

This guy.

There are two subcategories of the Adam:
     a. The Adam who hates you because you actually are wrong and annoying, but he's lacking the intellectual capacity to take it with a grain of salt. Now, I'll admit, I've been an Adam before because, at that time, I actually thought people could see the light and we're just stubborn; but then I learned that they really do have their heads that far up their asses and I had no desire to help them find it, so now I know how to let it gooo, let it gooo! Now, I just ask the actual question at hand:

It tends to go over pretty well...

    b. The alternate Adam, this one, hates you because you're right, but they disagree with you, and like the dimwitted, fit-throwing adult child they are, they turn it into a "I will hold me breath and stomp my feet until I pass out flat on this filthy floor before I even give your argument - that happens to have a lot of factual backing - the time of day because you're wrong and I hate you" type of situation.

And I don't even know why, but I can't go back now. I'm too far committed...

So, let the fit commence...

2) The Bubba (I literally Googled "most redneck names" and this came up, so here we are)

The Bubba is the guy who, you're pretty sure, isn't even trying to sound literate:

What. Are. You. Saying?

This one, like, you know they've got an opinion in there somewhere - albeit an opinion warped by being 50 shades of out of touch with the almost 2016 universe - but you can't find it because you have no idea what the fuck they're saying...

Yeuh... I mean. the bombs and the chickens were screamin and I aint even got Ersela outta been in days. The goddamn liberals and that damn muslim obama, is why the tractor isn't working!

Uh...

Hahaha. I just... I don't know.

Okay, Bub... I hope you and your chickens catch a break with that damn tractor. Haha - I mean, obviously that's an extreme example, but you know who I'm talking about... And if you don't know who I'm talking about, you're that person and you need to read more books.
3) The Conspiracy Theorists

I know this is broad, so let's narrow it to one that's especially prevalent in today's social media lawyer's association: GODDAMNIT OBAMA! Your mere existence with no actual hand in the matter has caused everything! HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT!?! Oh great, now my fingers hurt from typing so hard in my patriotic rage...

Asshole.

I mean, honestly though. The second I see "Obama" in anyone's "argument," they immediately lose my attention and respect. What if I told you one single man can't control the actions of billions of people? If you don't like him, that's fine; but to actually, publicly blame every single thing that happens, on him, is juvenile and makes you look like a fuck. Do some research and build basis for your argument; instead of copping out by blaming Obama and getting false reinforcement from your equally uneducated circle of people. Do we still talk about Bush started all of this shit? No. We don't. Because we are far beyond that and we understand that. But, in the mean time...

Not your God though... The one that like loves everyone and what not.

This leads me to my last type of debater... The one whom, while I respect their willingness to educate themselves, there is NO time or room for it on social media.

4) The Scholar

You know this person. The one who, after you type like a sentence or two, they come back with 12 paragraphs, pie graphs, and charts to prove why your opinion doesn't line up exactly with theirs... Like, whoa bro, that escalated quickly...

You're at a 27... I need you to come back to like, a 3.

Seriously though... Who has time for that!? Chill out - it's Facebook! Just take whatever you have in your noggin at the time, crunch it into an acceptable length of text, and send it into the abyss. I stop reading after line 4, just a heads up. I got shit to get done.

So, yeah. At least, those are the types that I've come across. I could go on and on, and into more detail, but I have to go to work and stack dat papah.

Later boners!

Okay, not really, but I gotta pay bills. Bye y'all - have a great Friday! Until next time, Witte out.

The Day After...

Hey everyone...

In light of the attacks in Paris yesterday, I'd hope to nobody's surprise, today's blog will be lacking it's usual humor and sarcasm. There's nothing humorous or sarcastic about a group of individuals with hearts full of hate, and minds full of weakness, attacking and killing at least 120 people, while injuring many, many more. Yesterday, I found tears in my eyes while I continued to receive updates on the horror taking place in a city that emanates love; today, I feel the hangover. My heart feels heavy, my body is tense, and my empathy for the loss of life and the loss of joy is digging a hole in me.

However, in the midst of the sadness, I find that not all share those feelings. They are not mourning for the violent loss of innocent human lives, they are not mourning for the shattering of a beautiful city by the detonation of explosives, and they are not mourning for those who had to wake up today with their loved ones not next to them. No. They are perpetuating the same hate that drove this Islamic group to commit this horrific act by spewing it at the Muslim culture as a whole, and at the refugees who are trying to escape this exact violence.

I invite those people to put yourselves in the shoes of those you are condemning as a result of the actions of a microcosm of their population. Imagine, just for a day, that you were in a new place, finally free from the sound of gunfire, the stain of blood, and the images of violence - you finally made it to a place where you are safe. Yet, once you're awoken from your daydream of solace, you find that people look at you in a certain way. You no longer see a gaze of welcome, with hands out full of offerings. No, that's gone because an extremist group of people who look like you, who don't have strength in their souls or the love in their hearts to be good, committed a horrendous act against humanity. So, as a result, you are now seen as a terrorist. People who once came to you with open arms, now turn their shoulders, only to glance over with fear, with hatred. Not because they are mad at you, but because you look like someone that they are mad at. Now, you're in a new hell, where you are the enemy.

Imagine that, just for a moment, and then rethink the circulation of hate that you are giving life to. I know it's hard to do because we, in these richer nations - namely the United States - cannot imagine a world where we go to sleep, not to the sound of our televisions or to the sound box that takes you to the forest, but to the sound of gunfire. Of explosions. Of your home being burnt to the ground around you while you just wait to be next. Instead, we wake up in our cozy beds, drive to Starbucks, and get mad about a cup not having snowflakes on it. It's time to reflect on ourselves, and take a moment to step outside of ourselves to truly feel compassion for all who were and will continue to be affected by this. We are all humans, we are all sad, we are all angry, and we are all hurt; but that sadness, anger, and that hurt needs to be directed at the group who did this, not at the people who were unfortunate enough to live in the same geographical location as that group.

Further, I find that the gun argument is getting some light. Either "they wouldn't have died if they all had just been strapped," or "this is more proof that we need stricter gun laws." Both of those are asinine and have no place in this discussion. Save that for your Facebook quarrels. Guns weren't the weapon in these attacks - hatred was the weapon. Weak minds were the weapon. Guns and explosives were the means by which those weapons were able to operate. So, before you continue to use this tragedy as a stage for your own personal opinions on political topics, remember that. Step back for a second and acknowledge the fucking tragedy that has taken place. Can we, for one day, forget politics, forget conflicts, and just mourn together as humans while we try to understand why this happened to our people and what we can do to ensure that it doesn't happen again.

In the end, what I saw was taxi drivers taking people home for free; hashtags being spread like wildfire on Twitter offering safe places to stay for those unable to find one; police officers storming into the concert hall knowing that there were gunmen on the other side of the door, armed and willing to take their lives, but without hesitation to save the people they've been employed to protect; national monuments around the world lighting up in blue, white and red in support of France; volunteers lining up to donate blood for those injured in the attacks; and complete strangers crying because of the tragedy that had taken place on Earth's soil. That's what I saw. I saw love, and it was and continues to be beautiful. That group - who, if you haven't noticed, I refuse to call by name - will not win if we continue to try a little bit harder every day to love the person next to us. Whether it's your spouse, your kids, your friends, or a complete stranger, this world needs more love to cover up the despicable hate that's bringing us all to our knees.

All I know is that when my girlfriend got home last night, I held her for a little bit longer with a grateful and thankful sense that I was able to; yet with a sting of sadness for those who would never be able to hold their loved ones again. Love each other. It will heal us, and maybe 20 years from now we'll be able to explain to our kids how we lived on such a violent planet, but moreover, how we pulled ourselves out of it by loving one another. I hope everyone has a humble Saturday. I love you all.

Peace to Paris - we all stand with you while we grieve.

HELLO, IT'S ME!

YOU GUYS!

Oh my gosh... It's been so long since I've been here! How's everyone? Are the kids all grown up? Did little Bobby ever make it to the pros? Aw, that's great to hear!

Alright, now that we've all caught up and things are great,

And defeat those Huns! (If you aren't aware of what this is, you may exit stage left now.)

Okay, so this blog doesn't have a specific theme since I've been a lazy ass, albeit a busy one, and haven't taken time to spit some truth at y'all in a while! So, here we go, on this wheel of random wonder...

First topic at hand is when someone hates you in the way that the world hates Hitler and you can't, for the life of you, figure out why. Backstory: I started this new job at a small law firm at the end of August. When I say "small," I mean there are four (4) (<-- that's a legal form thing, look at me go) of us. There are two attorneys, who are cool... But then there's this female. I know, that explains it all; why go on, right? WRONG! I imagine if she were to meet the aforementioned, universally hated man, she'd probably be nicer to him than she is to me. I can't figure out why this is, which leads me to the meat of the topic... Speculation! Yay!

Here are a few theories as to how and/or why someone dislikes you and you can't figure out why:

1) Your mere presence annoys them to the point of hatred. In which case,

You can't change that... BABY YOU WAS BORN THAT WAY!

2) You've said something, in the presumably short number of words you've said to them as a result of their spewing dislike toward you, that has offended them. In which case,

Toughen up soldier! All I did was ask if you wanted a coffee. Myyy Baddd!

3) They're jealous of you for some reason unbeknownst to you. I mean, granted, you know you fly like Queen B, but shoot, why you gotta hate on my shine? In which case,

NO, I'm not! Why, you ask? Well...

Haha, I'm kidding... Kind of... I mean, unless you're not...

But really, if it's jealousy then swerve sista, and get in your lane! I thought we all learned this in high school, but I guess mine was on a different planet...

Stand together ladies! Don't bring each other down!

Okay, enough on that. Let's talk about the big red cup in the room. Yes, the CUP that has been generating all of this drama (re-read that sentence just to make sure we're all equally humored by how ridiculous this is)...

These... These are the culprits. You little fuckers. How dare you be so bare.

And Starbucks' statement on their reasoning behind removing the snowflakes or whatever other bullshit was on their bullshit overpriced cup of Joe by saying that they "wanted to usher in the holidays with a purity of design that welcomes all of our stories."

Um...

Ain't nobody got time or room in their heart for stories and cultures and integration and shit. Get outta here.

I don't know about you guys, but I am blasphefied (just go with it)! Why? Because there is absolutely nothing else going on in this world worse than Starbucks taking an espresso shot at Jesus by redesigning their cups to remove symbols of a holiday inspired by Him and catered to Christianity, but taken over by a fictional character who contributes to the greed of materialism. I know that Jesus would not try to be Starbucks' homeboy, that's fosho... Nothing else. Anywhere. Going on.

God Bless Him... Or Him Bless Him? I don't know, whatever, he's right.

I mean, truthfully, get a hobby if you're seriously offended by a cup. You know what offends me? A little 19-year old fucker at Mizzou threatening to "shoot every black person [he] sees." That shit offends me. You know what else offends me? All of the death and destruction going on in the Middle East that no one seems to want to talk about because we're safe over here in the states where the worst thing happening, apparently, is a venti sized attack on Christians. That offends me. As a human being, those things offend me. If you're standing in line at Starbucks for a coffee, something tells me someone else is having a harder day than you. All of the people complaining that this world is too politically correct these days are the ones are who are offended by a cup, and other things of the like. Basically...

Even Snooki knows.

So yeah, that is my welcome back blog. I had to do if kind of fast because I'm currently late for work... But I missed you guy so sacrifices must be made! On that note, I gotsta go! I love you all and have a great Thursday! Until next time, Witte out!

It's In The Thing!

Hola!

I feel like this isn't even my blog anymore for how long I've been absent. I'm so sorry, dear followers (that's sounds a little cultish... "Readers?"), I started a new job at a law firm on Monday and then our pup pup got snip snipped on Thursday, so this week has been a doozy! Alas, I've had time to comb through the fuckery that happens in our country to find myself some material for my long awaited (I know you were like "dude, why isn't Courtney writing? I mean, it's been like 167 hours since her last post, what's the deal?") return. It wasn't very difficult to find, being that our current state of being in society is filled with wondrous bullshit and ridiculousness. Drum roll, please...

........

This bitch right here... Got me shaking my goddamn head.

That woman up there, as some of you may know, is Kim Davis. Who is she, you ask? Well, she looks like your average, bigoted religious crazy... And that's exactly what she is. Specifically, she is the Rowan County clerk in Kentucky; and she is refusing to not only issue gay marriage licenses herself, but also demanding her staff do the same. Now, why would someone possibly refuse to do the job that they were elected (yeah, like people actually took the time to choose her) to do? I mean, what could possibly drive someone to sacrifice their well-paying job for some silly reason?

Oh, wait, really? Yep, you guessed it - Religion. She is refusing to do her job because it goes against her religious beliefs. Here we go. I get so excited when religious bigots force their beliefs on others, while in the same breath claim that homosexuality is being forced on them.

Please, be gentle.

Let's look into this further. Now, certainly, this isn't the first person that's taking the outrageous SCOTUS ruling making equality the law of the land as a personal attack on them and their outdated beliefs. However, this particular woman, is taking it so far that she's currently being held in the county jail for contempt of court as a result of not doing her job, as it goes against her religious beliefs. Wow - she must be really committed to the Bible and all it directs her to do.

So, who is Kim Davis, and how is she a devote follower of Jesus and the word of God? In the spirit of school being back in session, let's generate a little report card.

Class #1 - Divorce

1 Corinthians 7:10-11: To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

In laments terms, don't get divorced; and if you do, don't remarry, only reconcile with the husband. How did Mrs. Davis do on this? Well, let's see, my Twitter and Google fingers have led me to the following fact: Mrs. Davis, the devote follower of the Lord who is refusing to issue gay marriage licenses because the Bible says that homosexuality is a sin, has been divorced not once, not twice, but three times. Now, I wasn't there, I don't know why she couldn't manage to keep three men. It's not my business. However, it becomes my business, as a member of the LGBT community, when this imbecile is telling me that I can't get married to one person, one time when, now on her fourth marriage, she's been married four times. Get the fuck outta here, and get back in your lane. I think the grade is pretty clear on this one:

I'm not even sure you really tried, therefore, F- on divorce.

Class #2: Clothing

Deuteronomy 22:11: Thou shalt not wear a garment of divers sorts, [as] of woolen and linen together.

Okay, simple enough, don't mix clothing types. Now, I admittedly and proudly defy this rule on a daily basis. It's a stupid rule, as most things are in the Bible, which is why 99.999999% of people don't follow every single rule in the scripture. Looks like little Mrs. Davis doesn't like that rule either:

I'm not a fashion extraordinaire, but methinks those are metal rings on a some sort of cloth-made shirt.

Seems petty, but if you want to play the Bible game, let's play. I don't know cloths very well because I don't really care as long as it looks fly; but, I'm pretty sure metal isn't the same as cotton or whatever her shirt is, let alone a cloth at all. I'm also pretty sure the book makes it clear that your clothing needs to be made of one single material. Bottom line. And for the reason:

For the pettiness, I'll bump you up one grade - You get a D on clothing.

Okay, Class #3: Money

Ecclesiastes 5:10 Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income. This too is meaningless.

Mrs. Davis, according to her Wikipedia page (which is never a valid source in academia, but I'm not in grad school anymore fuckers, so I'm using it), had a salary of $51,812 with overtime/miscellaneous compensation of $11, 301 in 2011. This equates to an overall income of $63,113 for Mrs. Davis in 2011. Wowza... I mean, I don't know about you, but that is a solid chunk of change for a simple woman of God. And, not only was she making more than any neighboring clerk and kept it that way until the County Fiscal Court cut the court's salary budget by one-third in 2012 after residents complained about her salary, but she wasn't satisfied with that salary and put in overtime to earn even more.

The passage up there says that's a no-no. That money and wealth are meaningless. Well, apparently not to Mrs. Davis, who worked extra hours to increase her wealth. For that reason:

While I understand you need to make money to live, you made an excessive amount on purpose, as I assure you don't need $63,113 to live in Kentucky. With that said, you get a D; or should I say the D since you like getting married to different men so much.

Overall, I'd say she's failing in the Bible department. Before you use the Bible to spew hate toward people you don't even know, make sure you're following it as well. Here's my point in words that you, Mrs. Davis and supporters, can understand:

1 John 4:20: If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.

Matthew 7:1-5: “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you."

1 John 2:9: Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness.

Basically, you're just an asshole by ignoring the passages that say love all, and paying attention only to the ones that supplement your discriminatory beliefs. When it comes down to it...

Truer, albeit harsh, words have never been spoken.

Astoundingly, supporters of hers are saying that she's being persecuted/prosecuted for exercising her religious beliefs. No. She's not. She's being prosecuted because she's abusing her authority as a relatively high ranking government official by forcing her religious beliefs on others in the form of denying gay marriage licenses out of her office. It's one thing if she herself doesn't want to give them out, but to demand her staff do the same is contempt and that's breaking the law. Read a fucking book before you open your mouth.

As a final blow, she is registered as a Democrat. You, ma'am, do not represent what the Democratic Party represents. We do not hate people for their life choices. We do not condemn them and discriminate against them because they live differently than us. We are, regardless of whether or not we claim any religion, better "Christians" than those who pronounce themselves as such. Feel free, when you get out of jail, to register yourself in the proper party. 

We done wit chu.

Whew. I'm a little heated, so, in closing...

While my other hand holds an egregious sized bottle of wine to wash down your idiosyncratic theology, that falsely, inaccurately and inconsistently cites the Bible.

I have no problem with religion or religious people. I know very many wonderful, beautiful souls who are religious; and I love them dearly. However, those who are cherry picking the Bible to exercise your hateful beliefs, check yourself. While we all want this, we can't all have this.

NO! You have to eat the bullshit brown ones too. You get all or nothing.

That's all I got for this woman today. I'll leave with this quote, which I like and deem to be relevant:

Religion is the rules, regulations, ceremonies and rituals developed by man to create conformity and uniformity in the approach to God. Spirituality is God's call in your soul. - Iyanla Vanzant

Until next time, Witte out!