Witte's World: YOU GUYS! What We Have Here Is...

... A classic case of "bitchassness." What is bitchassness, you ask? Well, according to urban dictionary, it is defined as: "The term coined by Diddy on Making the Band. Overall stank actions towards others through words, facial expressions, and/or song. Symptoms include: thinking your better than those around you, not speaking your true feelings, throwing large amounts of shade."

Who is the culprit? Well... BLOG.COM IS THE CULPRIT! You wonder why I have been inactive for about a week? I mean, maybe you haven't because not many read these, but the reason is because blog.com can't "connect to the server" or some crap so all my satirical genius is GONE! Into the abyss. Vanished. Now that, that, is some bitchassness if I've ever experienced any.

Oh well. I'll word vomit all over blogger.com instead. What up blogger.com! Holla atcha girl!

(Please don't leave me, I have trust issues as it is):

Gotta let it burn.

Goodbye blog.com. Blogger.com is my new canvas.

Anywho... Hey guys! How's everyone doing? I hope fantastic! Last time I checked in, I was in San Diego. Great trip home, but it's nice to be back in the desert with my feline and my female.

So, today I went on a run (in 108 degree heat - I never claimed to be the smartest... Actually, I have in an arrogant, albeit weak moment... But we all have our slips) and I was running alongside a pond/lake thing. Here's a quick visual. We live along what's referred to as the Scottsdale Greenbelt:

Imagine that going on for like 20 miles or something. It's a nice backyard to have.

Anyways, my questionable decision making self running in 108 degree heat was trudging along - mildly dying - when I saw a black duck and a white duck in the pond just moseying around together; so, naturally, my first thought would be, "There's no way those ducks thought about the other one's color before they decided to go on an afternoon stroll (swim?) together." Like, I'd be pretty surprised if the black duck was like "Bruh, get a tan, you're too white to be seen with. I don't mix with pale ducks."

So, continuing on with my not at all odd path of thinking here, I thought to myself, "how ridiculous is it that humans are probably the only evolved, intelligent species that literally looks at the physical appearance of someone, or the way someone chooses to live their life, and decides off of that whether or not that person is worthy of positive social interaction." I'm pretty sure if the white duck saw the black duck belly flop into the water instead of duck dive all pretty, it wouldn't be like "Ew, that duck is so not cool. Look how it dives. It's probably a shitty duck because it dives different than me, so I'm gonna go back to my corner of sewage where I belong because I have a shallow outlook on other ducks."

Further, assuming the white duck isn't a shallow prick who judges other ducks based on their diving score, I can't imagine that duck - or any other animal for that matter - would be so arrogant as to assume that they're entitled to this unsupported, uneducated judgment of other ducks. So, that leads to my question... What is it about humans that has lead to the installment of this idea that we are inherently deserving of the inconsequential ability to judge others? I can't talk to animals or anything, because if I did then I'd be wearing a bright white jacket that allows me to hug myself nonstop, but if I did I think they'd agree that we are the Regina George of breathing organisms... Just judging up a storm:

MAYBE YOU'RE THE SOCIALLY RETARDED AND WEIRD ONE REGINA! *CUE SCHOOL BUS*

When it comes down to it, humans are taught to judge. They're taught to discriminate. They're taught to spew hate at people they don't understand. Why? Because we're arrogant. We are too arrogant to admit that there are cultures and people and ideas that we don't understand, and that is okay. Instead, when we don't understand it, we call it queer. We call it a sin. We call them "rapists" and "drug lords." We call it weird and stupid. Luckily - forgive my French, but, THANK FUCK - my generation is experiencing a social shift in which people of all...

Colors

Shapes


And Sizes...

... Can live their lives and do whatever the hell they want (within reason - violence and meth are not ideal), hopefully with the comfort and assurance of knowing that the majority is shifting aggressively into acceptan... Y'know what? No. Not acceptance. I hate that word. You know why? Because who are you (general "you" not you specifically) to accept me and the way I choose to live my life? Instead, I'd like to propose that acceptance be replaced with "...shifting aggressively into minding their own damn business and keeping their own hands clean." And for that, I'm grateful and I'm finally proud to be part of a generation whom so many said was lost. We weren't lost. We just took the long way... Through the mountains... And every frat house in America... and a little bit of Amsterdam... To get here. And we had a damn good time doing it. Alas, here we are. Good job guys. Finally, and truly, the land of the free.

One last thing. You know I wasn't going to leave this alone, right?!? Wait for it... Wait for it...

First this.

And then... El Chapo's son does not like Trump's words.

(Roughly translated by an internet article to: There is no cage for big Chapo. Keep f*cking around and I’m gonna make you swallow your bitch words you f*cking whitey milksh*tter.") ... (Spanish speaking comrades, feel free to chime in if this is way off. Luh you!)

Um, I don't know about you, but I'd be shitting my pants right about now. But I don't feel bad because Trump, being the sharp-tongued coward he is, has called the FBI to investigate these threats as serious threats. Ooh, okay. So you can talk all this shit about Mexicans with absolutely zero factual basis, but then a notorious drug lord escapes from prison and his son calls you out directly, and you run and cry. I mean, you have every right to be petrified, but hopefully every small child who's inevitably more likeable and intelligent than you will learn a lesson from this. I just... I literally...

That is how I feel regarding the topic, in song and dance form. And the fact that this guy is actually getting support is even more disturbing than our beloved, weight-losing Jared being even vaguely connected in some way (allegedly) to child pornography. What's next? Bill Cosby?

OH GOD! THAT'S HAPPENED TOO! The humanity! The next thing you know...