How to Not Be A Shitty Human, Day to Day

Hollaaa!

Happy Saturday! I love Saturdays. They're so full of adventure and opportunity, and I feel like everyone is always in a better mood on Saturdays when compared to all of the other days. Anyways, now that Saturday's head is too big for it's own good, on this lovely morning, I woke up at the butt crack of dawn so I decided to (after laying in bed for an hour scrolling through 5 different social media sites to make sure I was connected with the world's happenings) go on a little hikey hike. By little, I mean like it really is the easiest thing ever... Probably shouldn't even be called a hike... More of like a movement outside. So, for this movement outside, I went to a trail close by, called Papago Mountain Bike Trail. This aforementioned trail has a big ol' hole in it, see below:

Is prettayyy, huh?

Not too shabby of a view, eh? Well, as much as I would like to agree, I personally was unable to enjoy said view because a group of humans were too busy being shitty to be aware of the people around them. An old ass woman was sitting smack dab in the middle of the entrance, while talking to a woman below her who was sitting in a place obstructed the one, single safe route into this hole of grandeur (by Phoenix standards). I gave up on being included in this hole after a few minutes because I have other, important things to do... Like go home and talk shit about these people. There were a handful of other people who just really wanted in that hole, so they waited, and it wasn't until the old lady and her rude ass friend decided they were ready to leave, that they moved and allowed others to enjoy the view.

I'm not bitter. I don't care about a stupid rock. I haven't even thought about it again... Goddamnit.

This unfortunate situation led me to think about common decency. You don't have to be a saint - Lord knows I'm not - but there are little things you can do daily or whenever given the opportunity that will boost your shitty human rate up to a less shitty status, potentially toward sainthood. For example, not sitting in the middle of the one entrance into a cool hole in a rock where you can sit and look at the whole city... For example. Just an example.

Okay, here's a situation in which you could capitalize on and separate yourself from the mere assholes to an aware, commonly decent person. This one that I seem to get a little kickback on is when you're in the line at the store and you have 10+ items, then a fella/gal comes up behind you with 1-5 items in her hand (1 for this instance). In my opinion, being a less shitty human means that you kindly acknowledge that they have less items than you and allow them to go in front of you in line, as your transaction will undoubtedly take a bit longer that theirs. The main rebuttal I've received is this:

"I have things to do, too. Why should I think their day is more important?"

Well, nobody said anything about you being a lazy fuck with not a single, important thing to do... But if you came to Target to get shampoo, deodorant, a clock, rugs, toilet paper, beer and a partridge in a pear tree - all while you were supposed to be an your kid's soccer game - you may need to reorganize your day a bit better. I'm not saying let every single person in front of you, but if someone has like one or two items, let them go in front. Even if you want to snarl and be crankster about it, at least you're a commonly decent crankster who probably just gave that person a little bit of this feeling:

Yeah! Go you!

*DISCLAIMER* To the person who is being graciously permitted to step in front of another in line under the assumption that your transaction will be quicker thus you can go on your way... If you take that offer with the knowledgeable intention of signing up for a rewards card, or using some bullshit currency that doesn't work, or telling the employee about your fantastic weekend; you deserve to step on legos for the duration of your day. And if it's the end of the day, then legos shall be spread upon your home floor when you wake up. Good luck with that because my research tells me that it is something not to wished on your enemy:

Fucker.

I mean, I could go on and on with examples of common decency but like I said, 'tis the glorious day of the week - Saturday - so I, and I'm sure you, have better things to do than stare at a computer screen. Stay fresh everyone and have an awesome day! Until next time, Witte out!

P.s. Is everyone watching that scary blonde UFC girl fight that other girl tonight?

Those dresses are quivering in fear, I know it.

Like, what in the actual fuck... She could come up to me and ask for my first baby, and I'd just say "TAKE IT!" for fear of physical pain that I'd never physically or mentally recover from. Regardless, hopefully unlike the Mayweather hug fest fight:

Okay, bye forreal this time :)