Mama Always Said...

Heyoo!

Happy Monday! I hope it wasn't too brutal, as Monday's typically are. Today's blog is about what your mama always told you growing up... All of those little life lessons and basic manners that you're to live by in order to make it through this bitch called life without getting your ass kicked, either literally or via voodoo doll. Forrest's mom was onto something all along...

I know what you'll get if you take someone else's box - a big ol' can of whoop ass. That's what.

Where this post idea comes from was me getting hung up on twice - yes, two people I talked to today were raised terribly - at work today. Mind you, they called me. Yes. I work at an inbound sales call center (for now because I'll be damned if someone with an IQ score of 7 is going to berate and then hang up on me), which means that people call us. You'd think this means that the calls are delightful and smooth and make you like people, right? No. I'd say about 40% are actually cool, while the remaining 60% suck on a whole new level. At what point in our childhood were we told that it's acceptable to hang the phone up on someone, given they're not stalking or harassing you, before the proper closure of a telephone call. That closure typically includes the mutual exchange of some form of "goodbye." Further, people will actually yell at us. Yell. Like, that thing you do when you're not intelligent enough nor have enough self-discipline to use your big kid words and logic to talk normally to another adult... Another adult who you, you...YOU called. Now you're yelling at me because your mom didn't say "no" enough when you were a kid and your sense of entitlement has taken over. Yelling and hanging up without proper closure is not cool:

Someone needs to call security on your ass.

Another thing that I thought was a given when we learned our life's truths was not speaking over someone. I read somewhere that talking louder doesn't make you any more right or less wrong... You're still the same about of both. Probably wrong since people who are right typically don't need to raise their voice to get their point across. People who are right have already drawn out their pie graphs and charts and done the research, and you know it. How do I know that? Well, because the second you stop allowing that person to talk and correspondingly raise your voice to ensure that they know that you're now this dude:

You think so.. But you're sad defeat is on it's way.

... We know that you're getting scared because you're about to lose. Not like a "well obviously" loss, but a "throw the ball on the 1-yard line and lose the Superbowl" kind of loss. Contrary to popular belief, raising your voice does not improve your argument. Do your research, line up your facts, fill the intellectual weapon with ammo, then, ONLY THEN, may you fire away. Until then, keep your wrong ass mouth shut because you're wrong, and you need to go back to basic human school. Not only do you look insecure because you're wrong and you know it, but it makes you look like an asshole. If you're words are so genius, they can wait until the other person has finished speaking.

I think it goes something like "treat others how you'd like to be treated," or something like that. Work on it, yo.

How about avoiding risky behavior and money management? People do some crazy, stupid shit, my god. Specifically let's talk criminals. Not the gnarly ones because they're on a whole different level. I'm talking the little minor crime jerks who are literally an inconvenience. For example, when I was working at the jail, this little shit 19 year old came through for robbery. While some see a violent theft at gun point, what he did was try to steal something out of a deaf or blind woman's hand and then run. He failed, but got the charge anyway. He gets to me, all cocky, until I tell him what his security level is going to be; then he starts bitching about being afraid. He goes back and forth between PC and GP, and finally I'm just like look kid, if you can try to steal from someone who has a more difficult time defending themselves, then you can hang with the big boys.

Contrary to the point of this blog, this kid's parents bailed him out the next day.. So, not only did he not learn a lesson about being a little asshole, but he also wasn't taught the value of a dollar. I get it, take care of your kid, but I'll tell you this, if my kid did that, his little ass can sit in jail for a bit. I have shit to do... Like see a movie, get a pedicure, have sexy time with my spouse since your annoying self is always around, and then I'll consider bailing you out. After which you'll be grounded forever and sent to a military camp, all without a credit card. Get used to Ramen noodles, ya shit. I swear...

Every. Day.

All I know, is I'm getting a lot of tips of how not to raise my kid(s). Ask Bentley, this house is a military camp in and of itself................. Just kidding, he gets whatever he wants. But he has claws. And impeccable agility. And can't go commit crimes. So It's different. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Welp, that's all I got for today. Thanks for checking in and until next time, Witte out!