Ooh, Child...

Howdy!

How's everyone doing on this lovely Tuesday? I'm doing well, thanks for asking! There's some wicked awesome lightening happening here in Phoenix and it looks so cool! We had a dust-storm out of nowhere this morning... By "out of nowhere," I mean we got the zombie apocalypse phone alert after the storm already happened. Like, thanks phone, I'm already drenched and covered in dirt, but I appreciate the thought. To my beloved San Diegans and others, just to help you visualize what happens during a dust-storm, here you go:

A picture of downtown Phoenix being engulfed... I think it's from National Geographic or some other source much more talented behind the lens than myself.

Yes, it literally covers the entire city... But only after you've washed your car and cleaned your pool.

Needless to say, they're fun. Especially for people with contacts... Stepping on legos ain't got shit on walking into a dust-storm with contacts in your eyes.

Anywho...

I don't know if you guys have seen the video of the dude who got parents' permission to trick their 12, 13 and 14 year old daughters (all different families) into meeting up with/inviting over strangers they met online as to teach them a lesson. It's actually a pretty intriguing video... Unsurprisingly, all the girls are naive and give in to each scenario. The parents, prior to the girls' voluntarily throwing themselves into potentially tragic situations, all ensured the guy that their daughter won't do it. No. Nope, she did. The last scene, the girl gets into a "here little girl, here's candy...now get into my windowless van so we can go to the carnival" van and the dude grabs her along with her parents, making her think she was being kidnapped. I'm pretty sure the girl shit herself, and peed a little bit, justifiably.

While I like the idea of teaching that lesson in a very real and sober way, the fact that these young girls and other young girls actually meet up with internet strangers is a wonder to me. This is for a few reasons:

1) My mom liked to use the words "I dare you" to test my willingness to make stupid choices. As badass and rebellious as I am, I chose not to take her up on a dare... Ever... Not once.

I'm good. Thanks.

2) While I talked to random people on AIM chat rooms (CHSsupergirl08 - Hollaaa!), I never even once considered actually meeting them. Why? Because To Catch a Predator... And murder... And bad situations for little ol' me. Like, I was young, yes; but I also knew that there were bad people out there because my parents taught me that. While I wasn't taught to be cynical of everyone, I was taught to keep a safe distance and make good decisions in that sense.

Nope. Not even the little old lady... We all know what happened to Lloyd at the convenience store.

3) Why in the actual fuck do these 12, 13, 14 year old girls have iPhones/Androids and Facebook? If my kid asks me for that ish at that age, no way in hell that's happening. And they want to give me attitude about it? Oh, ha, okay.

'A' for your dreams, though.

Oh, you're not stopping. Okay little one... Keep going... You finna learn real quick...

Test your limits, boo.

And then, Lord, bless my child if they try to go around me. Lawdddd. They are going to need Jesus, Moses, Mary and all the disciples.

IT'S ABOUT TO GET HOOD UP IN HERE!

*Sidenote: There's another dust-storm coming right now. End Sidenote.*

Honestly, though. There is no reason for a 12 year old girl to have a smart phone and a grown person social media account. You can do your time like the rest of us and have some bullshit "whatever comes free with the account" phone until you can buy your own. As for talking to grown ass men, or any males beyond "did you see Finding Nemo yet?" at the age of 12, stop. Pump the brakes on growing up. There's plenty of time to sleep around, give yourself some time to enjoy not dealing with the male gender and their goddamn hormones.

Hey, I'm just being real here. Come age 25, you're going to still live in your parents house, smartphone-less, man-less, and just be like:

I mean, I wasn't like that... Ha, no. Not me.

So, that's how I feel about young girls meeting strangers on the internet. It shouldn't even be a thing. Raise your kid to be aware of these things and respect themselves enough, and hopefully you'll be all good. And you little ones, respect yourself because... Zac had it nailed:

Preach, Afron, preach.

Well, on that note, the lightening is getting pretty intense over here so I'm going to do the only rational thing... Which is go outside and watch it. I love you all and thanks for tuning in! Until next time (unless I get struck by lightening), Witte out.