My Boo Needs to Eat a Snickers 'Cause You Ain't You Lately

Howdy!

Hey hey everyone, happy Thursday… Which means it’s almost Friday… Which basically means it’s the weekend! Whoop! I hope everyone had and is continuing to have a splendid day. I am as well; however, I’m troubled but something I saw in the news having to do with - you guessed it - our widely functional and effective criminal justice system. As most of you know, criminal justice is my passion. It’s what I studied for 5 years, it’s what I’m enthralled by, it’s what I love… But at this point in time, our criminal justice system has a mistress and this bitch (me) is scorned. I’m a scorned woman right now, and hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, so I’m about to go H.A.M. (honestly, I’ve never known what this acronym meant, so for the sake of credibility I turned to the Google machine… Result: “Hard As a Motherfucker.”) Yep, this is happening, because...

I'm talking a MidWest tornado kind of whirlwind.

I was just scrolling through the news, minding my own business, when I came across some baby. back. bullshit. The backstory is that this horny little 19-year old kid got on a hook-up app thing (kind of like Tinder, I think, but not exactly that) and started chatting with this chick who said she was 17. Under this assumption, aforementioned horny boy drives all far to hook up with this girl, and they do just that, then he finds himself in court for sex with a minor because the girl lied and told her she was 17, when really she’s 14. *Sidebar - how he couldn’t decipher between a 14-year old girl and a 17-year old girl is beyond me - but that’s not the point.* The point is, this 19-year old kid is now on the sex offender registry, is on ridiculously strict probation, and all kinds of other shit.

Source: http://abcnews.go.com/US/19-year-spend-25-years-registered-sex-offender/story?id=32783206 

Why? Because, despite the girl and her family being in court saying that he shouldn’t be in trouble since she lied, the judge decided to use him as an tool to express his disdain toward this generation’s promiscuity… Since that’s how you make your way to the respected, noble bench. You use cases and ruin lives to prove a point, all the while you go home to your cozy existence as a glorified referee (as state judges are, but federal judges are badass - don’t get it twisted) and forget about it. Wait a minute…

Hold the goddamn phones. All of them - cell phones, landlines, xylophones - all of them! You’re telling me that this kid is dealing with all this shit because a… Um… “Curious” young girl decided to lie about her age and bone him while he thought she was of legal consenting age. Meanwhile, ol boy Cosby has to get not one, not two, not five… But 35 women to accuse him of rape, for people to actually think he might be a serial rapist, allegedly. Thirty-fucking-five. The 34th wasn’t enough, he's still innocent, but that 35th really got people heated.

That is a lot of goddamn women...

Only then was he questioned as being far from the childhood saint that we all knew. Yet, he’s still living comfortably as his rapist self in his mansion, while 35 women are baring their vulnerabilities to bring him to justice… But this 19 year old kid trying to get laid got lied to by some girl and is now facing an incredibly difficult future, as if your late teens/early twenties aren’t enough of a shitshow. Tell me, what is just about that? So, yeah, am I going to sit here and throw shade at my beloved criminal justice system?

I'll yell it from the rooftops, because again, this bitch is scorned.

I'm on a roll here so let's continue... This police officer in Kentucky (big surprise here) handcuffed an 8 year old kid at his biceps, since handcuffs aren't designed to fit wrists that small, to restrain him for being unruly. Mind you, this little squirt has been diagnosed with ADHD and PTSD, so perhaps he needs a little extra attention, not to be put in handcuffs.

Source: http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/aug/04/kentucky-sheriff-defends-officer-handcuffed-child

Eight years old... For being unruly... At eight years old. Shit, if this kid gets handcuffed at 8 years old for being unruly, I should have a life sentence for the shit I put my parents through when I was kid. This moronic officer decided that he was unable to calm the kid down, or take the kid on as the kid comes in at a whopping 3.5 feet tall, so the obvious solution is to handcuff his by his biceps, if you can even call them that because he's a twig.

*Officer of the Year* Way to get this criminal off the streets!

Clearly, the officer just wanted to speak with the child, and what better way to do that than, not with your worlds because one must be able to properly articulate a sentence in order for those to be effective, but by utilizing a restraint mechanism used on grown ass men. The cop was called in the first place by teachers who felt threatened by the little shit. Threatened? Wait, like threatened threatened? Like, the one where you feel an imminent danger to your physical well being, kind of threatened? Oh, um, I mean I don't mean to imply humor toward your fearful experience, but he's not even 4 feet tall. And you're a puss... I mean, you should consider self-defense classes that way you can properly defend yourself from the 60 pound monster in the event that this traumatic encounter happens again.

Oh, and Officer? Maybe we need to put you in timeout... Called administrative leave. And then send you on a vacation... Called you'll never work as an officer of the law again because if you can't handle an 8 year old, then I sure as shit don't trust you to protect my weak ass.

So, my beloved justice system, I love you and I like to be in you, but you need to figure your shit out because I can't be with a crazy bitch, and you my dear... Well...

*Pst* You're the bitch this time, not me.

Well, that's all for now! I'm glad to be back as my internet decided to start working again 30 minutes for a technician was scheduled to come prolong it's inevitable demise because Cox sucks. I hope everyone has an awesome rest of your day, and until next time, Witte out.