I'ma Let You Finish, But...

... You need to get a gotdayum hobby!

Before I get started, hey guys :) How's everyone doing today? It's almost Friday! Ayooo! And today is pre-season football... Which, albeit, is a shitty version of the real thing, but I'll take it over baseball any day. (Go Chargers! Until you move to Los Angeles because Spanos is a greedy fuck; but for now, go you!)

Yeeaahhh boiiiii!

Okay, so I don't know if you guys have heard, but Target announced recently that it will be transitioning to gender neutral signage, specifically in reference to girls toys and boys toys being categorized by the gender they're intended to entertain. What was my response when I learned of this? None, I didn't have one. Why? Because I have about 237 better things I could be doing than to criticize the decision of a store I love so much. I mean, if I have to give a response, it'd be "Alright... So, I mean, my real issue lies with the cell phone service in the stores. Maybe it's just me, but I fall into a black hole of service-less oblivion whenever I walk into your stores. Let's focus on the real issue at hand here. Oh, and... Wait, what was the question?"

Oh no, people are legitimately boycotting Target. Boycotting... Like that thing that the black community did when they were segregated from sitting at the front of the bus and treated differently (poorly) for no reason other than their skin color. That kind of boycotting. But no, I'm not mocking our civilian right to refuse patronage at a "liberal" company for no reason other than them doing something you don't like. I'm not, I understand. Okay, you want to boycott Target?

Go ahead, be my guest. Drive your whiney little, have no hobby ass over to Walmart. Leave me to my chic home decor options and friendly employees.

Honestly, do you have literally nothing else to do than to troll on the internet about how Target is pandering to liberals and encouraging people to dismiss gender roles by eliminating the categorization of children's toys by gender; thus sending the message to boys who like Barbies that they're not weird and they don't need to play with the egotistical, tool that is G.I. Joe over there in aisle 7? I saw a comment saying that children like that - you know like girls who prefer baseball cards over a bullshit stove that perpetuates the 1950's notion that a woman's place is in the kitchen - are a freak-show and shouldn't be forced on others.

Honestly... Say that shit to my face when my kid wants to play with something that apparently makes them weird. I dare you.

It. Is. A. Fucking. Aisle. Sign. I can say with 200% certainty that you wouldn't have even noticed the difference had Target not made an announcement. I was a tomboy growing up (it all makes sense now, huh?), so I wanted skateboards to do sweet ollies, roller blades to do sick grindy things... And I couldn't care less about how that ho Barbie looked (honestly, talk about being unrepresentative of the gender it's aimed at entertaining - that bitch looks nothing like the average woman; but that's for another time). I can tell you that my parents didn't see the "boys toys" sign, where my desired fun gadgets were located, and say "sorry sweetie, but you can only shop in this aisle." No, they wanted to shut my annoying ass up so I'd stop asking, so they infiltrated that apparent invisible shield to get me the toys I wanted. I know...

It's shocking. And I only broke ~4 bones.

People say this is all because of liberal cry babies, the epidemic of political correctness, and the slow descent into hell that our society is apparently making... Um, well, I guess I'll see you there! I'll bring the booze because God, or I guess Satan now, knows I'll need it to deal with your stupidity for an eternity. P.S. No more Target for you. You said it, not me.

Seriously... Log out... As in throw away anything that enables your moronic thought vomit containing bitch face inducing toxicity being spewed on us.

Now, since we're on the topic of people coming up with ridiculous ideas because they have nothing else to do with their time... There are actual people, like they're real and breathe oxygen, who are in favor of making homelessness illegal. So much so that they passed legislation - laws - making it illegal to be homeless. Okay, wait...

I'm have trouble conceptualizing this... Hold on...

Here comes the kicker... These are the same people who are so pro-military and pew pew 'Merica, yet apparently are unable to go outside of their delusional, close-minded news source to find out that about 23% of the homeless population are veterans. I know what they're wondering: What are these numbers you speak of that seem mathematical and scientific? It's okay, your kind isn't so familiar with these. They're what we call "facts," or for the more advanced human "statistics." Yes, the second one is a doozy, so we'll stick with facts. So, the facts tell us that you're a hypocritical, uninformed son of a bitch. I lost the source to that, but I read it, it's credible.

Hey! I have a hobby idea for you! How about you get off your ass, quit with your Twitter fingers, and go volunteer at a homeless shelter so you can get these people off the streets since it bugs you that they're there so goddamn bad. How about that? That's a pretty cool hobby. Asshole. So, yeah...

What they said.

Anyways... The moral of the story is get a hobby. Only when you have hobbies are you allowed to share your opinions. There's a reason behind that, which is whatever opinion you share when you have nothing better to do is probably soaking with hypocrisy, illiteracy and lacks any factual basis; therefore nobody wants to hear it because nobody wants to lose a number of IQ points that they worked so hard to build up.

I'm tired of ignorant people saying stupid shit. If being progressive towards abandoning gender roles and teaching our kids that they can like to play with whatever the hell they want is political correctness and the cry of baby liberals, then color me rainbow. I own it. And if you want it to be illegal to be homeless, then get off your ass and go get the homeless people off the street... By being a decent human being and trying to help a brotha or sista out, instead of telling them through your passive aggressive votes that their bad luck or rough life is against the law. No, no. You, it's you who should be against the law. I'll gladly deport you... To somewhere you can't afford so that you can see what it's like and walk a mile in someone else's shoes. You judgmental fuck. I'm done with it.

This is too much.

Okay, I'm all worked up. Which is interesting because I was doing some living room squats when I decided to start a blog really quick so I didn't lose the idea... 45 minutes later, I've yet to squat again. Gotta get going before zee foosball starts! Until next time, Witte out.

Source for veteran homelessness: http://www.nationalhomeless.org/factsheets/veterans.html